My 2019 Experience and it's Lessons
This year has been a mix of disappointments and a little bit of joy for me. For some people, this was their year, things really kicked off for them. A lot of people celebrated their promotion, bought their first car / house, acquired landed properties, graduated, landed a huge endorsement deal, and so on.
The year 2019 wasn't what I expected it to be. Though, I'm very grateful that I am well and hearty but I didn't really achieve my goals for this year. I lost my uncle and it was a sad experience for me.
My 2019 phases
1. The Woke Phase
At the beginning of the year, while I was serving at my PPA, I was determined to learn everything about sales because I was in the sales department and I had to learn how to make money through persuasion.
As an introvert, this was very difficult for me at the very beginning. From following up on leads to converting them to customers, it was an overwhelming experience. I was involved in a lot of documentations and customer management.
Talking to customers on the phone was such a drag for me because of how shy I was. I'm still shy though. Lol.
By march I was already used to the sales documentations, billing processes and customer management. I have always had the mindset of working on my own, as a freelancer, even before graduating.
One day, I was on twitter and I came across a very young guy, 21 years old, who was making six figures in dollars as a Nigerian. I read his story and made my own research before I was able to see him as a credible person.
It was mind blowing. I followed him ever since then.
He offered consultations that I could not afford so, I simply stuck to his free advise on making money.
During this period of discovery, I became more eager to be a freelancer and a business owner. I bought courses on different skills used in making money online. I was hungry for knowledge. I used my ppa salary mostly on courses from some internet 'gurus'
2. The Phase of Frustration and Confusion
After trying to acquire so much knowledge on how to make money online, I began to feel frustrated because I wasn't getting my desired outcome.
I paid for scam courses from some gurus on e-commerce, I signed up on different mailing lists just to get updates on internet money.
I'd start a course and jump to another course without finishing any. Out of 11 paid and free courses I applied for, I was only able to finish 5 of them. There was no fun time for me during this period, which lasted from march to June .
I believe my problem was, trying to put my focus on many things at the same time. I was focusing on e-commerce, drop shipping, Social media marketing, copywriting, web development, music and acting. I didn't have any balance.
I was going broke faster than I was making any money. I was just moving to next thing without finishing any.
This phase was filled with confusions and setbacks
3. The Phase of Depression
After suffering from the 'shiny - object' syndrome (I.e. moving to the next best thing or trend) I got tired and really frustrated. I was losing money. My energy and focus were depleting. I had to find a solution.
For several months, I roamed in this phase. From August to December, I still couldn't point out a very significant amount of money I made from freelancing. I'd see other people getting freelance gigs regularly but I was still struggling to get quality clients. I signed up on upwork via an agency and it somehow brought some hope but it was still the same.
I didn't get so many clients like I thought I would. I guess I expected too much that's why I experienced so much disappointments.
At a particular stage I was really broke that I couldn't afford uber or taxify. I had to eat cheaply even though it wasn't good for my health. My mom really came through for me during this period. My self-esteem dropped so bad that I had to quit social media for a long while. WhatsApp was off limits too. Only few people checked up on me.
I couldn't tell anyone, except a few, that I was very broke and depressed cause that would make me seem weak. I didn't post pictures on WhatsApp or IG for a long while.
Later on, I realized that trying to focus on a lot of skills was reducing my chances of making more money. For the first time in my life I didn't like the fact that I am a fast learner and a multi talented individual.
I have picked 3 skills that I would be focusing on for 2020, which are; writing, sales and entertainment.
Oh yeah, I got a few guitar gigs that paid me a little, thanks to a friend of mine.
The hard lessons I learnt
1. No one is coming to save you.
I realized this after trying to process my documents to leave the country to pursue my passion. I was always depending on my parent to go through the financial aspects as usual but things didn't go as planned.
Money didn't flow in like I thought it would.
It dawned on me that I had to take that responsibility for myself, by myself.
If you don't take conscious actions about your life, you will end up sad and angry almost all the time.
2. Social media is not the real world
This is no new lesson to most people but as a reminder, I'll still talk about it.
I never liked the idea of posing like you're winning on social media while you're actually losing in real life. A lot of drama occurred on social media this year, especially on twitter, due to fake lives being lived by social media celebrities and users.
You'd see people pretend to do giveaways or chase clout just to get engagements on their account.
3. Don't compare your life with another.
This was another problem I faced. I'd always compare myself with people who were already set up by their parents or worked years before getting to where they are today.
I had the mindset of getting fast results. Instant gratification was my poison. Yes, I was ready to eat shit and be patient but I didn't know it would be this shitty for me.
I never envied fraudsters flaunting their money on the gram, it was those legit men and ladies I compared myself to.
In the case of the 21 year old Nigerian who was already making six figures in dollars, he started working for it when he was 17, before achieving what he had achieved. But I didn't see it that way. I just wanted to be really rich. I wanted to join the six figure group so badly without taking time.
I was taught patience, the hard way.
4. I need to go all in
Although it seemed like I really worked hard this year, but I can tell you that it wasn't enough. I came up with excuses on some occasions, procrastination was my close friend and fear was hitting me in the balls.
The truth is, I didn't expect it to be this hard. Of course, trying to break the norm is not easy but I wasn't really ready.
My will for this year was weak and my mindset was a bit diluted with fear and doubt. Sometimes, I'd think God was not on my side or that I was being punished for my sins.
Closing Remarks
I am grateful to God and my family for the love I've been shown, despite my carelessness. I also want to appreciate the friends that supported me this year. For those friends that feel I'm no longer on their level, I'm still grateful.
This year obviously wasn't 'my year' but I'm going to believe that the new year will be very gracious for me and my family.
I lost faith in my abilities and also in miracles, in 2019. I'm probably at my lowest at the moment but I don't plan on remaining there.
I chased after money and missed all the fun for this year. Lol. I'm not letting that happen in 2020. Towards the end of this year, I started developing feelings for a lady I served with. This will be another story for the new year. Lol.
A lot of things on my mind and in my heart but I'll stop here for now.
Whatever you choose to do for the new year's eve is your cup of coffee. Just remember that if you don't go after what you want, it won't get to you.
So, whether you have new year resolutions or not, pursue what you desire. Pursue your dreams without fear. Of course, you'll eat shit along the way but you'll become stronger.
If you read this far, thank you!
Happy new year.
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