Have you ever been crushed by your crush? Do you currently have feelings for someone who doesn't even know you?
Sometimes, having feelings or falling in love can be very tricky. Most times we tend to be confused if it's love or just infatuation. A lot of us tend to just wait till the feelings die while some just confess their feelings without fear.
Many people are afraid to confess their feelings due to the fear of rejection, low self esteem, realizing that person has a very bad side, fear of finding out their supposed crush is not who they thought they were and so on.
Personally, I'd always just keep to myself till the feelings die. This, sometimes, can take up to 2 months before the feelings die totally.
Recently, I experienced this again and this time, it was so strange.
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Last year, while serving as a NYSC member, I went to the local government at Victoria Island, for my monthly clearance as usual. I arrived the at the local government very late. Corp members had already stormed the office of the LGI. We were given numbers to index the clearing process. My number was above 250, which meant I'd have to wait till 250 or more corp members got cleared.
Corp members who were executives were assigned to the main entrance of the clearance office, to prevent any other corp member from entering without been called.
Other offices shared workspace with the clearance office, so, order had to be restored.
I knew it would take a very long time before it got to my turn, so, I went to the first floor and sat at the waiting room with other lads.
After chit chatting for more than an hour, I was thirsty and decided to get myself a drink.
Now, this was where things got interesting.
I had to pass through the clearance office to get the drink.
Beside the clearance office was another office where a middle aged woman sold drinks and other edibles. There was no other way to get there. I just had to go through the main entrance to the clearance office.
On getting there, I was challenged by a fellow corp member, one of the executives. I told her I just needed to get a drink but she thought I was lying and maybe I was trying to get to the clearance office to get myself cleared quickly.
I promised I wasn't trying to do that but she didn't believe. After taking my time to convince her, she finally agreed, but on the condition that I dropped my bag as a form of collateral 😂.
Well, I did that quickly. She watched me carefully to see if I was going to branch to the clearance office or not.
I got two drinks for myself and a friend of mine. When I returned to the main entrance, I showed the young lady the drinks I bought and told her to trust me next time.
She gave me my bag and jokingly asked for a drink. Lol.
I told her I would have given her but her failure to trust me won't make me give her. She chuckled and everything ended there.
After passing out as a corp member, first week in October 2019 , her face began to pop up in my head for no reason. I didn't know her name, where she lived or even her friends.
It seemed like some sort of voodoo or premonition of something that may happen to her. I was trying my best to ignore it but it became worse. I was having sleepless nights because of this 😫..
One day, while I was coming back from work, Inside a keke napep, I saw this lady again. She was driving a Toyota with her sister beside her. I was too ashamed to say "hi"cos I felt she would look down on me.
I thought seeing her like that would make me intimidated and then the feelings would die but that didn't happen.
In fact, it became worse. I was desperate to find her on social media. But how was I going to find her on social media if I didn't know her name?
Suddenly, I remembered we were given a magazine at our final clearance. This magazine had names and passport photographs of all the Batch C 2018/2019 corp members that served in Lagos.
After spending several minutes searching, I finally found her. I got to know her name.
Munachim was her name. At this point, I proceeded to Facebook.
I searched with her full name. I found her Facebook account but it was no longer active. I tried LinkedIn too. I sent her a request but she was also not active on the LinkedIn platform.
Sometimes, having feelings or falling in love can be very tricky. Most times we tend to be confused if it's love or just infatuation. A lot of us tend to just wait till the feelings die while some just confess their feelings without fear.
Many people are afraid to confess their feelings due to the fear of rejection, low self esteem, realizing that person has a very bad side, fear of finding out their supposed crush is not who they thought they were and so on.
Personally, I'd always just keep to myself till the feelings die. This, sometimes, can take up to 2 months before the feelings die totally.
Recently, I experienced this again and this time, it was so strange.
Continue Reading
Last year, while serving as a NYSC member, I went to the local government at Victoria Island, for my monthly clearance as usual. I arrived the at the local government very late. Corp members had already stormed the office of the LGI. We were given numbers to index the clearing process. My number was above 250, which meant I'd have to wait till 250 or more corp members got cleared.
Corp members who were executives were assigned to the main entrance of the clearance office, to prevent any other corp member from entering without been called.
Other offices shared workspace with the clearance office, so, order had to be restored.
I knew it would take a very long time before it got to my turn, so, I went to the first floor and sat at the waiting room with other lads.
After chit chatting for more than an hour, I was thirsty and decided to get myself a drink.
Now, this was where things got interesting.
I had to pass through the clearance office to get the drink.
Beside the clearance office was another office where a middle aged woman sold drinks and other edibles. There was no other way to get there. I just had to go through the main entrance to the clearance office.
On getting there, I was challenged by a fellow corp member, one of the executives. I told her I just needed to get a drink but she thought I was lying and maybe I was trying to get to the clearance office to get myself cleared quickly.
I promised I wasn't trying to do that but she didn't believe. After taking my time to convince her, she finally agreed, but on the condition that I dropped my bag as a form of collateral 😂.
Well, I did that quickly. She watched me carefully to see if I was going to branch to the clearance office or not.
I got two drinks for myself and a friend of mine. When I returned to the main entrance, I showed the young lady the drinks I bought and told her to trust me next time.
She gave me my bag and jokingly asked for a drink. Lol.
I told her I would have given her but her failure to trust me won't make me give her. She chuckled and everything ended there.
After passing out as a corp member, first week in October 2019 , her face began to pop up in my head for no reason. I didn't know her name, where she lived or even her friends.
It seemed like some sort of voodoo or premonition of something that may happen to her. I was trying my best to ignore it but it became worse. I was having sleepless nights because of this 😫..
One day, while I was coming back from work, Inside a keke napep, I saw this lady again. She was driving a Toyota with her sister beside her. I was too ashamed to say "hi"cos I felt she would look down on me.
I thought seeing her like that would make me intimidated and then the feelings would die but that didn't happen.
In fact, it became worse. I was desperate to find her on social media. But how was I going to find her on social media if I didn't know her name?
Suddenly, I remembered we were given a magazine at our final clearance. This magazine had names and passport photographs of all the Batch C 2018/2019 corp members that served in Lagos.
After spending several minutes searching, I finally found her. I got to know her name.
Munachim was her name. At this point, I proceeded to Facebook.
I searched with her full name. I found her Facebook account but it was no longer active. I tried LinkedIn too. I sent her a request but she was also not active on the LinkedIn platform.
It felt like I was working for the FBI. I went on twitter, she had an account but her last tweet activity was 2015 ðŸ˜.
Jeez. I was furious with myself. I wasn't going to give up on it. So, I decided to do the craziest data scraping technique. I went through all her tweets and found some people she tweeted to frequently.
I wrote down their handles, checked their bio and went to Instagram to search for them one after the other. I got a total of 42 of her twitter followers that seemed like they knew each other personally.
It was a very tedious process. This was how I approached it. I would pick one of the handles and search on Instagram. Some of the handles had their real names attached so I used those ones first.
One after the other, I would search for them, check their followers and try to find Munachim.
Chai! Remembering this is making me laugh.
Chai! Remembering this is making me laugh.
After searching several handles, I found an account that had a picture of her graduation.
It was a photographer from Ghana. Oh yeah, she schooled in Ghana. I quickly liked the picture, checked who the photographer tagged and, Eureka! I found her active account.
I was so happy. I told my friend about it and he laughed. A part of me felt I should have channeled this energy to making money 😫 and I agree but it's done already.
It appears that she is a makeup artist. A beautiful one in fact. All these trouble just because she started popping up in my head. It was no longer a debate anymore, I had fallen for this lady.
Fallen deeply. This feeling crossed over with me to the new year 😂. My friends are telling me to shoot my shot but I can't.
Sometimes I wish I could just risk it all but other things burden my heart. Things like money, financial stability, more money, and money, restrained me from shooting my shot.
Physically, I'm not what many ladies would love to describe as their dream man and on top of that I'm not Wizkid or Davido, which is why I can't risk it all at this point.
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| PS: this is not me 😄 |
It's a bittersweet feeling that makes my mind travel far. I still have feelings for her tho. Imagine! She doesn't even know. ðŸ˜
Well, all I have done so far is like her pictures and comment nicely on her posts. Typical stalker. Lol.
Will I get over it soon? I don't know. But what I know is that I need to secure financial stability as early as possible.
What do you think? Should I shoot the shot or hustle to get the bag and move on?
Let me know what you feel.
If you read this far, thank you. ❤
Damn!
ReplyDeleteBruh! First, lmao
ReplyDeleteThats some kage level stalker process...lol.
But I loved how you were able to vividly describe the situation.
Good write up
Just saw this.lol. thanks
ReplyDelete